Indiana: God woke me up

It's been awhile since I last blogged, about 10 days. Well, God woke me up this morning at 5AM to pray. And after I spent some time with the Lord, I had some time left and I didn't want to go back to sleep so I decided to blog. A lot of things have happened in the last 10 days since I blogged. But I'll just write about how I'm doing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Physically, I've been doing very well even though I haven't been hitting the gym as much as wanted to. I've been eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner pretty consistently with good balance of nutrients on the food pyramid. I feel like I'm getting bigger physically- upper body and my belly (which I'm trying to prevent). I walk a lot more because of my classes and living on campus. My body uses more energy to keep itself warm since its so ridiculously cold sometimes. But overall, I'm doing well physically.

Mentally, I'm starting to finally get myself to really concentrate and study for my studies. It was really difficult at first to get into this student mode again because I've been out of school for about a year and half. But I'm really starting to pick it up again, which is actually an answer to one of my prayer request. Thank you, Lord! But there are other worries in life that come up to distract me from my studies at times. God has been giving me discernment to distinguish what's from God and what's not from God. Whatever is NOT from the Lord, I rebuke it and pray against it because the enemy always wants to feed our heads with lies and worries. 

Emotionally, I could be doing better. I've been having a hard time adjusting here and finding a source of true comfort here. I got plugged into a small group at the church I attend and I've met some really awesome people, but the truth is that I miss my friends and family back at home. Just being with my close ones to be myself and laugh and share and say anything without worrying about being judged and having a good time. But I think this is part of God's plan of making me into a greater man of God. He's constantly reminding me to stop depending on my old comforts, but to take steps of faith into better and bigger things He has for me.

Spiritually, God is amazing. He's been continually been so gracious and loving to me in so many areas of my life. Always providing what I need here and speaking to me everywhere I go. I see God's love and signs and movement constantly in my life, and I pray that He would continue to deepen my intimacy with Him. He's been really good to me. Really. And I realized that it all started with something SO simple that we all know and heard about- our daily devotional time with Him. I've been getting so deeply rooted in the Word lately and it's amazing how God has been speaking to me through the Word. There are times when I just cannot believe what I just read and how He spoke to me. I literally just stop reading and find myself in complete speechlessness and in awe of Him. And then I gladly go on my knees to pray. I give Him all the glory and honor and praise and worship that He deserves, first before anything. Then I pray for the other things. But it's not anything elegant or graceful, but what's real in my heart and mind, as if I'm talking with a close friend (with more reverence of course haha). And then I sit there and listen. Sometimes He gives me a picture of a person, thing, or location. Sometimes I see a word in my head. Sometimes, I don't hear or see anything, but those are the times when my faith is stretched to the fullest because I still believe that He's right there listening to me. 

Lord, there is not enough words that I can speak to describe how great and amazing You are. Thank you for being so faithful to me, when I was so faithless. Thank you for your grace and love. I ask that you would continue to grant me a greater understanding of how deep, wide, and long Your love is because it's beyond our knowledge and control. It's something you can only give us. Continue to strengthen my inner man so that I may live for You and You alone, not men. I love you God. I really do. Break me. Mold me. Use me. I pray all these things in Jesus name, Amen.

Indiana: It's snowing!

I can't believe it's already been over a week since I've been here in Indiana. Things have been good here. I've been meeting more really awesome people from my Actuarial Science program. I noticed that these guys are very selfless and helpful to one another. They genuinely wish the best for each other in the Actuarial career and exams and they do whatever they can to help each other succeed. It was extremely encouraging to see this kind of selflessness and I believe this is the key to thrive and excel in our Actuarial career.

Well anyways, it's been snowing a lot here since yesterday and forecast shows there are more to come! I'm beyond excited for more snow to come because it doesn't snow in Orange County. I woke up this morning and opened my curtain to see this:

This is the view from my dorm window. I'm on the 10th floor so I actually get a good view! :)












After class, I came back to my dorm to get some breakfast. I was in the shop for at least 30 minutes because I didn't know what to eat for breakfast. Finally, I picked out cereal (Raisin Bran), 2% reduced fat milk, chocolate chip muffin, and a kiwi. I ate the cereal & milk with the muffin first. Then I took the kiwi out and wanted to eat it but I wasn't quite sure how to cut it. So I went on Youtube and found a "How To Cut Kiwi" video made by some old Koala looking chef which I thought was hilarious. Check it out. So I followed what he said in the video and cut my kiwi. The only difference between mine and the guy from the video was that I ate mine in one bite without cutting them into pieces. Sorry, Mr. Koala! :)

Enough baloney. Let's get to real blogging. I started reading the bible more, frankly because my girlfriend asked me to since I'm so lonely, but God is good. He's been speaking to me so clearly and directly through the Word and it's been a long time since I've encountered Him in this way. And I also started reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan again and in the beginning of the chapter, he tells us to go to the website to see the Awe Factor of God video. I was looking at some more videos from his website and came across a video that really caught my attention. He was talking about how he met a girl during a conference who seemed so passionate every single time she was worshiping God and he asked her how she did it. And she told him that when she has a great time with the Lord, she never says, "God, give me what I experienced last time." but instead she prays, "God, you are a creator. Would you create something new this time as I worship you so that I can experience you in a completely different intimate way?" And I was so encouraged to hear that and decided to pray that every single time I read the bible and prayed. When Matthew 7:7 talks about "“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you," I don't think God was talking about materialistic things like asking for a new Audi R8 and you will get it, but instead asking for the Heavenly thing, the spiritual gifts, or the Kingdom minded things that will glorify God. Asking for a whole new encounter with Him. Asking for spiritual gifts. Asking for fruit of the spirit. Asking for the power to love or the power to understand God's love in a deeper way. And I'm telling you right now that I've been experiencing the answer to my prayer about encountering God in a whole new way every single time I opened the Word and prayed since I've been here in Indiana. It's absolutely amazing. And I believe that He'll answer you too as you ask, seek, and knock on His door. Happy Friday! :)

Indiana: Making some friends...

I'm getting more used to the environment here- the place, the weather, the people, the food, and even eating meals by myself. I realized that eating alone isn't that bad at all. There's a lot of people that eat by themselves. But I met more people on my floor in the last couple days. And I got a chance to eat dinner with these 2 white guys from my floor. They are both kind of nerdy but I guess it's still better than eating alone. As we were eating and sharing, I got to know them more and I found out that they were actually very funny and intelligent, in a kind of nerdy way. One of them has a 4.0GPA with a extremely good sense of humor which I was blown away by. After dinner, he wanted to show me his room (I have no idea why) so I followed him to his room and it was one of the messiest rooms I have ever been in. But as soon as I started judging him based upon how messy his room was, God showed me that he was a child of God and to not judge anyone by letting me see that there was a bible open to Proverbs on his messy desk. Oh how foolish I was to judge him! Then I heard Jesus saying to me “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" from Matthew 7:3. Sigh. Forgive me, Lord. 


God has been convicting me, teaching me, restoring me, renewing me, and doing something in me that I can't really describe because I don't fully understand either. But I know for sure that He is doing something in my life right now. Something big...

Indiana: First day of class

So I finally moved into the residence hall yesterday. (btw the post before this was actually written on Saturday, but I didn't have time to finish it and post it) Anyways, Tim and Erin helped me move into my room. It's a single room on the 10th floor so I get a really good view out my window of the school and the city (not that there is anything exciting to look at other than trees but it's still kind of cool). I met some of the people on my floor and they seem very nice. Most of them are white, of course. I also got to meet a lot of my fellow Actuarial Science grad students whom I will be spending the next 2 years with. They are very helpful and friendly. I'm really excited for this program to study hard and finish strong!

As I mentioned in my first post, one of my prayers in the next 2 years is that I would become stronger as a man of God so that my inner man would grow stronger. Well, God has already been answering my prayer regarding this. But I realized that in order for me to become a stronger man of God, He puts me through times of testings and trials so that when I come out of it, I will have learned and grown from it. As James 1:2-5 says  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."


Random: I came across a chart of discipline, trials, and tempation (check it out!):

Indiana: First Impression

I'm staying at Alice's friend's house (Erin and Tim) until Sunday since the residence halls don't open until then. Tim and Erin have been extremely good to me. They are so caring and thoughtful. I couldn't have asked for better hosts than these two people. And their relationship with each other really show a deeper side of them. Tim is SO good to his wife Erin, esp because she's pregnant. I can really see that He is a man of God, who only fears God, not men. And Erin is such a sweet and caring soon-to-be mother with so much energy and joy. I can really tell they are going to be great parents. On the second night, Tim took me to a guy's night out event that one of the church member at Tim's church was hosting. It was actually at his house and he ordered some pizza and had a movie night. We watched Cowboys vs Aliens, which wasn't the best movie, but it was for fellowship so i didn't really mind. Afterwards, we all played Halo on xbox in 3 different teams against each other. I'm not a big gamer in general, but these guys were seriously good at this game. Regardless of winning and losing, I had a great time meeting some of the brothers from the church that I am planning to visit this Sunday. I'm excited and looking forward to seeing how the churches are like here in Midwest. So far, my first impression of Indiana is pretty good. Everyone in Muncie seems very friendly and nice.

Indiana: Day 1

I'm on my flight to Vegas first, then to Indiana I go. I felt kind of nervous at first, but now that I'm up in the air, I feel very excited and ready to take on the next two years of my life. But I need to fully realize and accept that I have absolutely no control over anything I do. My gpa, actuarial exams, finance, friends, school, internship, job, nor any other second of my life. I have few goals in mind, not only for this new year but for the next two years of my life. First, my goal is to pass at least 2 actuarial exam before I graduate. Secondly, I wish God will strengthen my inner man. By this I mean that I wish to find so much security in God's love that nothing would affect me. I want to be able to live with no need other than God himself. I wish the next two years of my life would significantly shape me into the man of God that He had created me to be.

So on my flight to Indianapolis, I was listening to a sermon by Francis Chan and the sermon that Shannon sent me from YWAM called Happy Holiness. It was amazing how clearly God was speaking to me. God was telling me that He wants to do something incredible in my life in the next two years and that is why He is sending me to a place so far where I am unfamiliar with. A big part of that is strengthening my inner by setting myself apart for something different for Holiness. God is setting me apart to show the world what God can do in a man when he follows after God without fear. God, here I am. I surrender my whole life to you. Take me and use me for your glory. I am yours.